it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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