I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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