Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
