Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
