You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
