Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
