so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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