mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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