forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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