If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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