i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
