The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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