Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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