Define "chronic" masturbator.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
