Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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