so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
