it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
