I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
COCAINE IS GR8
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize