the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
