Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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