Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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