Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
