Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
