Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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