wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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