You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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