YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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