Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
