i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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