Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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