I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
