Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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