she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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