so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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