i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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