I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize