dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she peed on how many people?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
