My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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