i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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