I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
