so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Someone signed my nipple.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
