Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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