I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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