U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
