You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
