There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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