im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
