She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Me too!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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