Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize