I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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