i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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