your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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