Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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