i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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