dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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