Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
