they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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