quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
