Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
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Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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