guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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