After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
