We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
two words...techno handjob
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
