you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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