So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
