Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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