I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
