big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
