It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
