dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
